My Husband Has Been My Greatest Teacher
I’ve been thinking a lot about this word “sovereignty” lately. It’s a word that had been a thorn in my side since I first heard it years ago. I can still remember listening to someone speak about “sovereignty”, and the true meaning of sovereignty when it comes to standing in our divine power, listening and leading by our heart and soul’s truth… and I cried… and cried!
This is a word I wouldn’t have been able to digest or navigate growing up. I was way too co-dependent on making others feel good, therefore changing myself for them, or taking their opinions and viewpoints to heart, and as Truth!
This year, my theme has been about this word, “Sovereignty”, to where I am absolutely being DEVOTIONAL to my sovereign being. In those times I slip up, I get back up and I use that as an example of how I can choose to pivot from co-dependency to sovereignty.
My husband has been one of my greatest teachers!
He has challenged me and not in that cheerleader kind of, “GO GET’EM’ Beb!” type of way! I mean, he has done that too but I’m talking about a different kind of challenge. This was happening more so through our differing spiritual beliefs butting up against each other or his opinion on a teaching I was learning, or a judgment on a way I was “being” that didn’t agree with him, and I’d take that on as something was wrong with me, or that his judgment was somehow “truth”.
What this caused me to do was dim my light more and more.
When I began to recognize this pattern, I wanted to leave the relationship. I was sick of being let down, put down or feeling “less than” in his presence**.
Here’s the thing… he wasn’t putting me down, he wasn’t ridiculing me, he wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt me! He was not abusive but what he was, was direct! He expressed his opinion, something I never learned how to do in “this” way. **
From his perspective, he was curious, protective and challenging me so that he could understand on a deeper level what I am sharing and therefore, understand “me”. He’d ask questions from his logical brain that I could only answer from my emotional brain and that never went well. So my old wounding of being “misunderstood” or not “seen” showed up and his old wounding of “not being heard” or “understood” showed up as well, and without the tools back then to recognize where we both were coming from, it became quite heated!
Lovely right? =)
Doesn’t sound it, and didn’t feel it at the time either but it WAS a perfect recipe for radical evolution and growth – if we stick with it!
We both were NOT in our sovereignty during these times.
I could have left (and so could he) and I almost did. Literally … and we discussed it and decided to try ONE more time.
This was one of the catalysts to getting to where I am now and where “we” are (my husband and I) and why being in our embodied presence, in our sovereignty, we are happier, in harmony, balance and at peace with ourselves and with our loved ones! It creates a new level of intimacy!
I will say that I also knew DEEP down inside that we were teaching each other something important and that if I don’t learn from this experience the right way than I will keep repeating this same pattern with any relationship I enter into, as will he. It’s about following your body, your soul and what FEELS right in the moment and as much as my ego wanted to run, my soul kept whispering,…
Being in our sovereignty is what ignites our life force, propels us on our path and allows us to live life from our heart’s, body’s and soul’s truth, and not through or by others truth’s. It allows us to break down the shackles of “should’s” and old conditioning.
We can only know who we truly are when we are ready to reclaim our sovereign self.
I now hear the word “Sovereignty” and I’m a HELL YES in combination with an ache in my heart because of so many who have still lost touch with their divine presence and therefore have lost touch with who they are, how to embody their true selves, and that is where suffering lies.
The more we value who we are, the greater service we are to humanity.
When it comes to my relationship now, there has been so much transformation that I am in awe. I will say that it DOES take two to tango but it only takes ONE to begin to make the shift.
Now, even though I’m using my intimate relationship as an example here, this goes much deeper. Yet, relationships is one of the things in this human existence that we cannot avoid. How can we all live in right way with each other, in full acceptance and love for another?
It starts with ourselves!
Imagine being in a community of all-loving, highly conscious beings around you, celebrating each other, celebrating YOU, the minute you STAND IN YOUR TRUTH, and claim who you are!
This is Body Divinity… it’s Wild Beauty… all concepts I share and believe in.
Let’s let go of the loyalties of others and place it back on ourselves.
This is one of the reasons I created my upcoming workshop called “Embodied Presence” and why I will be sharing more, because I do believe that our own personal experiences is what allows for the most transformational healing to occur. It gives us the ability to see ourselves in each other and that is GOLDEN!
If this is something you resonate with, you can click here to check it out and register. If you cannot make it live, you will receive a recording.
I have so much to share beyond this point so do join us and be part of this special experience.
If you are not feeling called to the workshop, but looking to receive support in this area, you can click here to see other ways I can support you.
To your Sacred Sovereignty,
**Disclaimer – I feel it important to note here, to use your own discernment when it comes your relationships and the boundaries you need to set. This sharing of my experience, is not an invitation to stay in a harmful or abusive relationship but to get clear (in your sovereign being) what you are willing to take or leave. For us, by no means was this abusive but two people carrying out through old wounds and reacting (with words) from those spaces for healing to eventually occur, in which it did. So please use your discernment always and feel into your body whether there might be some healing to do in your relationship by sticking it out and learning from it, or if perhaps you are to leave a harmful situation as another form of healing to learn how to hold safe and strong boundaries for your safety and health. This is an area I will also be talking about on the workshop and there will be time for Q&A and sharing.