Letting Go of Your Victim Story
Ahhh, I’ve missed writing and connecting with you in this way.
I shared this experience in my last newsletter and I wasn’t surprised with how many women replied with such resonance so here I am sharing it with you too!
As I transitioned into the new year, like many of you, I was invited to dive deeper into my own process and my own truths as a way to excavate the old, as in those ways of being that no longer serve me.
Again, this was no surprise to me as this seems to be the theme of the collective right now. Deep shifting and transformative energy which can often feel like a “churning” in the body at times…. on all levels.
In saying that, if you’re feeling some deep challenges arising right now accompanied by resistance, emotional overload, unwanted physical symptoms, fatigue and the like, you are in midst of it, the invitation to release the old and shift into the new. You’re just going through the motions and it’s all perfect! Have compassion for yourself and know there is something greater on the other side!
This is the perfect time to set your intentions as you sit with the question (and you might know the answer already) – “What are you still doing or holding onto that no longer serves you?”
For me, it was “victim” energy. Ummm yes!! I said that right, “victim” energy. If you’ve followed me for a while you may have heard me talk about this and how to move OUT of it and here I am, caught!! I caught myself IN it, DEEPLY in it!
When I had this revelation, I have to say I was somewhat embarrassed. I acknowledged the embarrassment and then forgave myself. That’s where the compassion comes in.
And… this Is how the Universe works. I knew this “victim” energy, I was familiar with it and I felt it’s presence return and this time more than ever as I was dealing with a few unwanted circumstances in my life. I was completely aware of it (and that’s how you know you are so very close to ridding it altogether) yet I still went there. I felt it creep back in and I allowed myself go there in a bigger way and for days! I can look back now and say, “of course it did” because it was ready to be moved out.
It’s called the “echo”. I heard this term used once by a spiritual mentor of mine and loved it. It’s when you think you’ve rid of something and the Universe decides to “test” you so to speak to see if you REALLY are ready to let it go or to see if you really have let it go. It comes creeping back in to see how you’ll respond or rather if you will “react”. I was “reacting” to my circumstance rather than responding to it with ease and grace.
Obviously I did not yet let it go previously and was not ready to until now. And I want to say this as well….. I’m not saying it might not EVER peek it’s head in again but the difference is that it no longer will have power over me. That old coping mechanism or belief system is gone and if it were to creep its head in again to “test” me, I will be so very present to it that I can transmute it right away!
This is also about embodying a practice, not just learning it or doing it on the surface level.
This is the thing. We can learn all these tools and ways of moving through our life circumstances and experiences on this path of awakening to a more conscious being, life, path and purpose but if we don’t take the time to integrate it and move it into our body, we fall flat.
In the beginning of my journey I use to think, “I don’t get it…why can’t I move through this like they do?”, “why am I so slow or sensitive?” or “haven’t I learned this already?” Which is a perfect example, by the way, of the old victim energy!
Yet, there was some truth to it and it was because I wasn’t taking time to STOP and allow the information to sink into my body and integrate.
We are all going at turbo speed right now, you might be feeling it. The energy is shifting and our bodies are trying to catch up. We’re in a new paradigm of releasing and releasing quickly. It doesn’t take months and years anymore and though that’s a blessing, we have to be open to it and respond quickly to it otherwise we stay stagnate. We need to take more time to listen to our own inner guidance than try to learn it all outside of ourselves! The teaching is in your life experience!
It’s all that easy with a bit of intention and compassion!
When I recognized that I was playing victim to certain experiences in my life still, I got fierce with myself……I made a pact, I lit a candle along with some Sage followed by Palo Santos and I danced it out in a ritual of releasing and recalling as I cut the cord or shall I say “cords” to this attachment to playing victim. In an instant I felt relief. I felt a sense of empowerment and happiness I haven’t felt in a while! I felt a deepening of love within myself.
As long as you have a strong intention with what it is you are releasing, you can release it NOW!
Yet I get that some people and maybe this is you, where you are not sure what it is you need to release or maybe you do know but get stuck in the “how” and that’s where you get held back.
If that is the case, allow yourself to get support. Have someone guide you or simply hold that space for you and if you don’t have that support available to you, find someone who can.
Know that this is also the work that I do so if you feel called to receive support, I’m happy to guide you and hold that space for you in those areas where you are blocked, holding back, making yourself wrong, unhappy, unfulfilled and possibly playing the role of victim and therefore keeping you “stuck” in life because what we “are being” is what we create more of!
However you decide, get that support because what I realized in myself as well as with my clients, the more the victim is present, the more circumstances will show up to validate that you are a victim!
Playing victim can look like an old safety mechanism to dim your light and put yourself in the victim role. It can be simply a default that your endorphins feed on yet it’s not serving you and your desire for freedom, happiness and fulfillment! As I said and I’ll say again – being victim will create more circumstance in your life to validate your victimhood!
So… as always, I love hearing from you and I love holding space for you! If you feel called to know what that would look like in a larger container of us working together than click here to set up a free discovery session.
In the meantime. I’d love to hear from you by leaving a comment below and let me know if this resonates for you and how your victim is showing up for you! Simply leave a comment below.
With so much love,
xx Dana
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Photo Credit: Photographer – Alessio Albi
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