In The Midst of Body Shame
“We’re not broken. We’re not in the wrong bodies. We’re not inadequate. We’re not lesser. We’re not unwanted. We’re not fraudulent. We’re not undesirable. That’s all just a set of lies we tell to soothe the experience of the prisons we put ourselves in.” -Agnostic Zetetic
Now if you will allow me, I’d like to show you who you are.
You are beautiful, you are whole, you are precious, you are divine, you are effervescence.
You are wise, you are keen, you are vibrant, you are light, you are pristine.
You are innocent, you are wild, you are strong, you are alive, you are angelic as a child.
Don’t let anyone tell you any differently, not even yourself.
Be true to your heart and honor thyself.
Where were you on a scale from 1-10 today with your Body Shame? Where are you now?
I weep over this topic because I see it all over and I lived it. I felt it, I endured it….. just like you and 100’a of other women. Yet what if we were told over and over again as little girls that beauty is only skin deep, that we are “whole” just the way we are. What if we were never exposed to the media and our culture’s impression of what beauty is?
Any body shame you have felt and are still feeling is just an expression of others beliefs that you took on. Let me start by clarifying however, this is not the “blame game”. Those that came before us who may have had any impact on our body shame, only knew what they knew and that was probably the same as what we now take on to be true.
- Maybe your sibling teased you because you had chubby cheeks or chubby legs and you formed a belief that you were forever “chubby”.
- Maybe your mom was overly worried about your health and had you get on a scale at a very young age and made a comment about your weight.
- Maybe you were teased by friends in your class at your height, your birthmark or whatever that might be that you are most self-conscious about.
- Maybe you live in a family with a history of weight gain or eating disorders.
I gather that you know deep in your soul that your body does NOT define you or that your body can be healed of this trauma. I know deep in my soul that if you are here with me reading this, you know this! You just need to know how to get there … am I right? I’m with you!
I want to share with you a few ways I was able to start on my journey of overcoming the “stories” I held so deeply within my soul about my body towards moving into body love.
- Make a list of the top 7-10 women you admire and find beautiful. This can be someone in your family, someone famous, it can be anyone! Let this be someone that you see such beauty in and in your own definition of beauty. When I did this, I was surprised at who I wrote down and the fact that more than half of them didn’t have the bodies I was aspiring to have. It was a pivotal time where I redefined beauty and how I wanted to show up in the world and you might too!
- As part of my body rituals you can take download off the middle of my homepage here, this one is my all time favorite. It’s called “Awakening” and it’s where I acknowledge every part of my body upon awakening. As I touch each part of my body, I send her love and gratitude. It’s a beautiful way to commune and honor your body in the morning.
- Recognizing without judgment the beliefs you have about your body and where did they come from? Close your eyes and tap into your own truth and take those beliefs and turn them around. Create new affirmations for yourself that feel true for you and know they are just “stories”.
- Listen deeply to your body. This can get tricky and where most women falter in the question, “how do I know what is my mind talking vs. my body?” I get it, it takes time. It’s a gut feeling and a knowing that what your body is saying, is what will serve your highest good! What your mind is saying, usually will not 😉
- There are so many cultural references of beauty and they are all different. Unfortunately we are bombarded with messages everyday with either very tall, overly slim models in their teens and women who are retouched to look like airbrushed version of themselves. I invite you to put down the magazines and refrain from television shows that are causing you any turmoil, comparison or shame around your body.
These are just a few to start with and would LOVE to hear your comments below either on any of your experiences, questions or simply your thoughts.